the pain is still so fresh that it feels like nothing has changed in the last year. i am still trying to figure out exactly how to function. i really don't have a lot to say, i just feel that i needed/wanted to be heard (read).
it is far too unbelievable for words. we are all aware of the upcoming days and what they mean.
please think about ellen. i do.
153 comments:
I love you Ryan. Very, very much. No words are the right ones, but I tell you all the time that you are SO strong. Along with our daddy, you're the strongest man I know, and you'll continue getting through your days.
I'm sure Ellen is truly appreciating your solid love for her, as much as she did when she was here.
I know these days coming up don't even seem real, but just keep positive thoughts that Ellen is happy, healthy, and safe. And, she's watching over you everyday.
Love, Jaime
Ryan ~ There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her and you - you both are so strong and I know she is watching over you. I miss her so much and wish I could give her a hug, but I know I will see her again. Take care of yourself and know that I'm praying for you and always thinking about her. Love & miss you!
love always, Ashley
Ryan,
Not a day goes by that I don't think about her and miss her so very much. Ellen would be so proud of you, and she knows how very much you love her. These next few days will be very hard to get thru, but just remember her beautiful smile and giving personality, and Ryan someday you will meet up with Ellen again.
My Love to you,
Jo Ann
Hi Ryan,
I do think of Ellen every day and also dream about her. I can't believe it has been a year. I miss her so much. I hope that you are okay and I will be thinking of you especially during the next few days.
love,
Hilary
Happy Birthday to our Ellen.
I remember so many birthdays I spent with her. The party in junior high thrown at Courtview Tennis Club, the 16th birthday when she finally got to drive Suzy's Volvo wagon and took us all to the mall, and of course the 21st, which was celebrated in true Ellen style. Her 29th birthday is not one I like to think about. I will try to think of her 30th as one spent truly free of pain and the troubles of this world.
Happy Birthday, Bell.
-Amina
Happy Birthday Bell,
I can not believe how fast this year has gone. I wish you were here to celebrate the first one of us to turn 30. For as much as you loved to throw parties I know this one would have been just as fun. Know that I am thinking about you and missing you everyday. This weekend we will be watching the Ohio State Game wishing we were in your living room cheering them on. I know that you will always be with us and watching over us.
Missing you everyday!!!!
Happy Birthday El...Love you, Amber
Happy Birthday Bell,
I can not believe how fast this year has gone. I wish you were here to celebrate the first one of us to turn 30. For as much as you loved to throw parties I know this one would have been just as fun. Know that I am thinking about you and missing you everyday. This weekend we will be watching the Ohio State Game wishing we were in your living room cheering them on. I know that you will always be with us and watching over us.
Missing you everyday!!!!
Happy Birthday El...Love you, Amber
Happy Birthday Ellen!
Too much to say without the right words to say it.
Thinking of you as always.
Jen
Happy Birthday to our dear sweet angel, Ellen!
Ryan, I have run in to you so many times this week, and I just didnt have the right words to say. Tim and I think of Ellen so much and we miss her dearly. You have remained so strong and you were her rock. I know she wathces you from heaven and says a prayer for you everyday! We will be thinking of you Ryan. Love Tim and Alison
We do still think and pray for you Ryan and all of Ellen's family. Keep strong as I know this is a difficult time.
L. Smith
We found out on Ellen's birthday that we are having our second baby, a little boy. I was thrilled, but in my heart I so wanted them to say "It's a GIRL" because she would have been Sadie Ellen after my craziest, most fun girlfriend I've ever had and a woman who is thought of and missed every single day. Ryan, Suzy, everyone, hang in there and even though a year may not have brought any comfort, she is in peace now and watching over you with a smile on her face. My love to you all in this hard time, Sommer
Time flies but mending of hearts does not. We are thinking about you today Ry, Suzie, Todd, Don. Love you lots.
Ryan and Jamie Grubish.
Ryan,
Please don't lose your trust in God. Pray to him everyday and he will help you through this. You are so strong. Don't lose sight of your strength.
Dear Ryan,
Mike and I have so many bittersweet memories as this time draws near. Please know that we are thinking of ellen- and of all the great times we had together. I miss my friend dearly.
Lauren
p.s. a great person said "the important thing in life is not the triumph, but the struggle". ellen taught us all so much...
Ellen,
Mike and I found out we are having a BABY! We're so happy, and I knew you would be too. You loved babies so much. Evan still talks about you, and always looks at your pictures I have up in the house. You treated him so nice!
I love you and think about you every single day. Im praying for a girl so she can be named after you. There's nothing more I'd want out of my daughter than the traits you carried as such a strong woman.
We love you,
Mike, Jaime, and Evan
Hi Ryan,
I think of Ellen every day and cannot believe that a year has gone by. Ellen would have been pleased to know that the Cancer Relief Fund that she played such a big role in conceiving is now helping cancer patients in Stark County. We meet every month and Ellen's name comes up in every meeting.Her generosity and spirit continue to live on...
Thank you to both of you and may God give you strength,
shruti trehan, North Canton Medical Foundation
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!!!
even though you might be gone from the earth, you always remain in our hearts.
Thinking of you always,
Katie & Mike Sturz
Just think of you.
Think of Ellen every day!!
I think of Ellen every single day. Missing her very, very much!
Just returned from San Diego and saw so many great pics of Ellen and the girls. Ellen's beauty, style and grace is forever carried in all our hearts. I know she is smiling with us. Peace and love, Anna Hillhouse
I am thankful for all the friends, family and dear people who think of Ellen. So beautiful, so young, so loving, so giving...our Ellen words cannot convey the loss I feel. Eveyday is a struggle...I rely on Ellen's spirit and love. Life will never be the same.
Thank you for all the kind words and love. She would be honored.
My tears never seem to stop. Love Suzy
I still check the page everyday!! I miss Ellen everyday, and I think of her always. I think I am a much better person for having her in my life. I know she is watching over us all everyday!
Missing & Loving You always Ellen,
Jo Ann
suzy - as time goes on, please know you are never far from our thoughts.
Today we did splatter painting in Ellen's honor to raise funds for thr Cancer Relief Fund. It was possible because I had Ryan, Christy, Megan, Amber and Jenna. So many children had fun creating their pictures. Many friends and family stopped by. Just what Ellen would want. We raised $424.00. Ellen and Ryan started their company and wanted to help others. It was a step in the right direction. We did this at the Main Street Festival in NC. I know my beautiful Ellen was watching...her smile was big. I miss her so very, very much. It still doesn't seem possible. Thank you to all for your kind words and love. suzy
Thinking of Ellen today and missing my friend. Lauren Maurer
Happy Birthday sweet Ellen! We love and miss you everyday! Love, Jaime, Mike, Evan, and Graydon
Happy Birthday Ellen, miss you so.
Jo Ann
Thinking of you on your birthday Ellen! Lauren Maurer
Happy Birthday Ellen! I love and miss you every day.
Lindsay Travis
thinking of ellen and all of her family and friends today... while time goes on, loved ones who left too soon are never forgotten.....
Rich and I got engaged on Friday night. I love that it was on your birthday. I can SO hear your voice saying "It's about time!"
I love and miss you.
Lindsay
Thank you for remembering Ellen. I still read the blog and your memories of her are gifts of love. She was so very, very brave and strong willed. My world is so quiet without her sweet voice. She loved to celebrate her birthday...missing her with all my heart....it just doesn't seem possible......
Happy Birthday to my beautiful Ellen Love forever mom
Not sure if anyone is out there. Merry Christmas to my beautiful Ellen. I love you with all my heart. Ellen always loved Christmas. Ryan and her always had a holiday party and lots of decoration. Her smile did always light up a room. I love you darling always and forever. mom xoxo My bff...it is so quiet and lonely xoxox
Merry Christmas Ellen!!! Graydon had such a nice first Christmas, and he took his Aunt Ellen elephant blanket to all of the gatherings today. Love and miss you every single day.
Love, Mike, Jaime, Evan and Graydon
Suzy & Ryan,
We were all here on Christmas day thinking of Ellen and missing her as we do every day. Miss you and love you lots Ellen.
Love,
Jo Ann
Hey Ellen... just thinking about you... I have the funniest picture of you with a bowl on top of your head, you're holding onto a bottle of champagne and a water bottle... It sits on my desk at my home office... you have a Hoover Football T-shirt on! I think it was from the night we had our Pi Phi pledge class "gel" party in someone’s basement... I know you are keeping an eye on all of us!! Everyone misses you... but we know you are in good hands...
Hey Ellen. I was tucking Bella into bed the other night and told her a story about a beautiful angel named Ellen who used to do really crazy things. She laughed and laughed and then said, very seriously, "I met Ellen Angel, Mommy!"
Thanks for giving her Ellen Angel lovin. :)
xo Sommer
El, take good care of Gary! And Happy Anniversary! Love you! Jaime
Happy Birthday Ellen, how I miss you so, I so wish I could pick up the phone and just hear your sweet voice once again. Your are gone from here but never gone from my heart. I miss you and love you so.
Thinking of you as always.
Jo Ann
Happy, Happy Birthday Aunt Ellen!!! We love you and will be singing a special song for you today. Hope you are celebrating with a bang! Love, Mike, Jaime, Evan, and Graydon
Happy Birthday Ellen. Missing you.
Thank you for thinking of Ellen. It has been three long years without her smile, voice and love. We raised $1000.00 this August at the Main Street Festival for the Cancer Relief Fund. Many of Ellen's soroity sisters, friends and family helped us do Ellen's splatter painting with children.The house is quiet and I am always thinking and missing her with all my heart. Ashley and I had a quiet dinner on her birthday. Ellen always loved a party. Please remember Ellen, she was so brave. She fought so very, very hard with her loving husband always at her side. I miss my best friend and send my love to the heavens. I will see you soon. mom
0Happy Birthday Ellen Missing you everyday. My walks are quiet now. May you be safe in heaven holding the babies. Love always and forever. xoxo mom
We love you so, so much El. Missing you always. Everyday! We KNOW you are keeping everyone on their toes up there :) Love, Jaime
it's a sad day. i can't believe it's been 3 years. still missing you, ellen.
xo hilary
Missing you so Ellen, can't believe it has been 3 years, I miss you every day. I love you and I know you are watching over us now! Till we meet again.
Love,
Jo Ann
There is a new baby up in Heaven that I hope Ellen is taking care of for me. :(
I love and miss you Ellen!
Lindsay
We all miss Ellen, and I know she is a wonderful angel.
Thinking of you too Lindsey.
Miss & love you Ellen,
Jo Ann
Dear Lindsay, I know Ellen is holding babies. Everyday in my prayers I ask GOD to have Ellen hold the babies. She wanted a baby so very much. She is...Ellen is a very loving girl, always was. Thank you for writing. I miss her with all my heart. I love my Ellen always and forever.
Suzy
Dearest Ellen. Happy Valentines Day to my beautiful Ellen. I am so thankful Ryan surprised you with that gorgerous diamond necklace on Valentine's Day.. You looked beautiful wearing it. I am sending my hugs to heaven. I miss you with all my heart everyday. It is always so quiet and lonely. You are my best friend. Love always and forever. xoxo mom
Thinking of my friend today. Miss you Ellen.
Lauren (Brunner) Maurer
Ellen, just thinking about you. My best friend’s mother, Pat, was diagnosed with Stage III Anal Cancer and I was wondering if you could watch over her and spread the word to the other Angels.. I started a blog just like yours to help keep everyone updated on her progress. Some are catching on and some are just confused.. lol Sending you lots of love..
Can't sleep tonight Ellen, you are on my mind, miss you so much!!! Sweet girl you are never far for my thoughts. Miss you so much!!
Love ya,
Jo Ann
Happy Birthday my precious Ellen. Today you would be 33, one year older than Ryan, again. I miss you with all my heart. The world is so quiet and lonely without you. You always made birthdays fun...I know there would have been a party last night. I had a nice dinner with Ashley....I know you were with us. I love hearing stories about you. My heart aches...missing you every day and long for your voice and hug. You always made everything fun!!!! Everyone misses you!!! Love always and forever mom xoxoxox
Happy Birthday my precious Ellen. Today you would be 33, one year older than Ryan, again. I miss you with all my heart. The world is so quiet and lonely without you. You always made birthdays fun...I know there would have been a party last night. I had a nice dinner with Ashley....I know you were with us. I love hearing stories about you. My heart aches...missing you every day and long for your voice and hug. You always made everything fun!!!! Everyone misses you!!! Love always and forever mom xoxoxox
Miss you Ellen.....Not a day goes by that I don't think of you, and wonder what life would be like with you still here. Miss you so.
Love ya,
Till we meet again,
Jo Ann
XO <3
I'm not sure how many of Ellen's friends and family still check this blog, but here goes. I was taking a walk with my sister yesterday afternoon (Easter Sunday) through the Hoover trail, behind Washington Square, and we came across the bench placed in honor of Ellen. There was a beautiful display of flowers next to it. My sister knew of Ellen through an acquaintance of hers and she told me Ellen's story. I was so touched by the fact that Ellen had been taken from this life way too early - I just turned 28 last month and knowing how old Ellen was when this happened to her, well, it really hit close to home. I found this blog and a couple articles connected with her story and I just wanted to say how much of an effect this has had on me. I am going to have a skin cancer screening at the North Canton Medical Foundation's expo in a couple of weeks.
From what I have read, it is apparent Ellen was just as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside. I am so so sorry for your loss. Please know that there are so many people who think of Ellen and her family and friends, and that we wish you strength and comforting memories. I am truly changed by this. Hugs <3 <3
Hello Erin,
Yes, I still read Ellen's blog. Thank you for your kind words. Ellen, she was beautiful and so very loving. She showed amazing strength and courage in her battle. I hope you introduce yourself to me at Ellen's event. It is very difficult to hold this event without Ellen, but I know this is what she would be doing. Telling others the dangers of the sun. Everyday, every hour, I am thinking of her and missing her with all my heart. Your kindness is appreciated. suzy, Ellen's mother
Lots of us still go to the blog for our friend Ellen, and we are miss her so. We know she is looking down on us every day. She is an angel!!!
Jo Ann
Hug's to all of ellens friends & family. She is missed so!
Thank you to the North Canton Medical Foundation,our friends and family, and to Ellen!! We had another successful Melanoma Awareness day in Ellen's honor.I just know you were there Ellen and I hope you were proud. You wanted to make a difference and inform people about the dangers of the sun. Your bautiful picture hung on the wall with Ryan at your side. I love you sweetheart and your love is always present in our hearts and minds. I miss you darling with all my heart..always and forever mom xoxoxoxooxo
Saturday was a great day, devoted to my dear friend Ellen....I know you were there with us Ellen...miss you so....Much Love, Jo Ann
thinking of you today, and always
Happy Happy Birthday Ellen!!!
Happy Birthday beautiful Ellen. You were a wonderful gift from heaven. God called you home to soon. I miss you with all my heart everyday. I just want to hold my daughter tightly and hear her laugh, and sweet voice. 34 years of age.....on earth. Forever young............
All my love to the heavens. xoxo mom
I know it has been a while since I have last run by and tapped your bench. But, I have been thinking of you often. Thanks for the signs and the strengths you have provided. 5 years later...and your words and strength still shine though and speak to me. Love you!
Still miss you everyday, til we meet again my friend, you are always with me. Love ya. JAS
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