Tuesday, August 14, 2007

tuesday night

another day passes...still not much change with me. just sleep.

my mom left this morning and my dad flew in today to visit. tomorrow is our doctor's appt. and all of my lab and tests. i am feeling anxious and nervous.

i am starting to feel like i am never leaving this loft. it's just a horrible feeling but i am trying to remain strong and positive! i am trying to allow myself to enjoy the sleep. i just want to get treatment started again so all the cancer cells can be killed.

everyone have a nice evening, we should have more details tomorrow evening.

love,
ellen

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

Peaceful sleep, Ellen- You deserve it! Good luck tomorrow with your tests. Lots of prayers will be coming your way.

Anonymous said...

I will be thinking of and praying
for you, Ellen. Tonight, tomorrow,
always!! Have a good nights rest
and good luck with all the appts.
and tests tomorrow. I will be
cheering you all the way. God Bless
you and Ryan too.

Love,

JoAnn

Anonymous said...

Hi Ellen, Hoping to hear from your mom this evening when she gets rested up. You know she is there in spirit and just a phone call away. I am thankful you feel comfortable enough to sleep. We will be praying for good lab results and that God will calm you this week. Know that you are loved by many and have your friends and your family, the new one and the old one, naming you first in their prayers. Love, Aunt Connie and the fam

Anonymous said...

Hi Ellen,
We are all praying for more good news tomorrow. I am praying for strength and peace for you and your family. I know you are nervous and I'm sure being stuck in the loft day after day doesn't help much either! Think of all that you have accomplished over the last week and a half! Good luck tomorrow...I will be thinking about you all day!
Love,
Hilary

Jo Ann said...

Ellen.....Sweet dreams girl, you need sleep for your body to repair. I will say lots of prayers for you tonight. Hang in there and stay positive. Tell Ryan I said Hi...and hang in there.
Love ya both,
Jo Ann

Anonymous said...

what's up girl? you can tell by the times on these posts that people are constantly checking the blog- how cool!

good luck with the test tomorrow- are you having the MRI? i know you have been waiting for that test.

good luck- can't wait to hear the good news. miss you.

lauren brunner

p.s. i agree with alexa- your corn dip is the best! often imitated, never duplicated. my mouth is watering. also- can we have a nugent update? i'm sure he misses his momma...

Anonymous said...

Ell,
Glad to hear you are still able to sleep. I am sure if you are sleeping your body still needs it. Sleep is sometimes the best healer. Good luck tomorrow with your tests and getting your abdomen drained from the fluid. Hoping and praying for nothing but good news and I know it must be hard but hang in there. All of this agony now will make you better in the end! miss you and hope you have a good night!
love kelly dragiou

Anonymous said...

Dear Ellen, Sleep and let your body rest and heal. The power of prayer is an amazing phenomenon and I know there are many, many people who will be praying for you tonight. Try to find comfort in knowing that. Love,Bernie

Anonymous said...

Hi pretty girl!
I hadnt posted in awhile, but I didnt want you to think it was because I wasn't thinking about you. I do all day, everyday. Take advantage of the sleep! I wish I could be there relaxin' with ya! :)
Good luck with the tests tomorrow. Be sure to call, or have Ryan. Love you both lots!
Jaime

Debbie Sloan said...

Ellen:

I made a gift for you and dropped it at Joann's office today. She will give it to your Mom to bring back with her. Wear it and feel the strength and energy it's meant to deliver.

Sleep well...
Debbie

Anonymous said...

I miss you my dear!! Many prayers and love being sent your way.Open your heart and know that God is protecting you. I will be praying for your strength and healing. Sleep tight sweetheart, you have two strong men at your side tomorrow. I love you so very much and so does everyone else!! xoxo

Elly Chain said...

Hi Ellen! Keep resting and know that so many people are thinking and praying for you!! Best of luck tomorrow! Keep those postive thoughts as we will also! God be with you and your family!!Love, Elly

Anonymous said...

Ellen, All good thoughts and lots of prayers are with you and Ryan. My wish for you and Ryan tonight is that you will have restful sleep, sweet dreams, and good news tomorrow. God, I know will see you safely through this journey and will give you all the courage that you need to face whatever lies ahead. Your strength is amazing to me. Hang tough and know that we are all with you in spirit. May God bless you both and keep you under his loving protection. Love, Bob and Anna Hillhouse

Anonymous said...

Ellen,
Jan K had always told me that I was her best volunteer (she thought other Chamber members wouldn't read her comments??),but now I know the real truth & have something to shoot for - that is trying to catch up with what you do for the chamber. She must have told that to me just to con me into something!! Yes, I will help JoAnn this weekend but she is going to have to put up with my sarcaism, my complaining, all that stuff just to raz her - just kidding!

Well, I have been catching up reading your blogs for the past few days, challenging, slow, wondering, but striving to keep strong. Read the comments & catch a nap for all of us. When you are working, a nap sounds great, when you have time for alot of naps they may seem to be tiresome but may your sleep help build your energy. Your blog gives us all something to come home to anixousally read.

Take care & have a good night's rest for both of you & keep trudging forward.

Barry K.

Courtney said...

Hang in There Ellen!!!! You are doing so great and staying so strong!! Good luck with all of your appointments and tests the rest of the week. "Weave in faith and God will find the thread." Hopefully you had a good night's sleep and got some rest. Keeping my prayers and thoughts of you and Ryan!


Love,
Courtney Kase

Anonymous said...

Hello Ellen,
We just got in early this morning from 8 days in Nashville at the Gaylord Resort for our annual Shaklee convention. I thought of and prayed for you everyday and Amanda kept me posted with your blogs.
However, I just finished reading all the ones I missed so I would know it straight from you.
You are an incredible person and I can't begin to tell you how your courage and determination encourage me. Sometimes I wish it were possible to know the answer to all the 'why's' in our lives, but I think that would decrease our faith and trust in God. So we continue to pray for you - stay strong, never give up. Get your rest and feed your body good things. (with an occassional donut here and there)
Love you -
coni

Anonymous said...

Ellen ~ I have been behind in reading your blog as I tagged along with Mario to Charleston, SC when it was the hottest place on earth (118 degrees!!!) I never missed Ohio and it's grey skys so much :) Not only did I obtain to have heat stroke one day while walking along side of Mario, but I managed to pay lots of $$$ for the make-over of the century. Unfortunately, I came back to the hotel with black hair and a hairstyle that I did not like (and yes, I still paid the bill :) So the motto of this story: If you get bored and the temperature is too hot to enjoy a walk with your walker -- Save your $$$ -- Read a book :) "One of life's lesson's for Barb to learn".

While Christy and DR manage to have a battle of the best landscape award going on on Amber Street, long lost "past" neighbors of Jim's still live on Mohler Dr. (Yes, Jim used to live one house away from Mario and myself). Ambler Street has their work cut out for them as Jim was an expert long ago while residing in Bob-O-Link. Maybe I should bring our 4 dogs to his new neighborhood to assist DR with his plan to be #1. Duncan's last attempts to play "King of the Hill" resulted in breaking our wooden picnic table. Mason's newest trick is to Summa Wrestle Duncan on top of the hot tub cover and while Duncan is napping from all of the fun, Mason is managing to dig the insulation out of the hot tub cover. But the darlings do not touch my flowers --they know a good life and want to stay living in their backyard!! They could bring quite a stir over on Ambler Street -- just name the day and I can come visit :)

It was so good to catch up on your days as I read your blog tonight. It is wonderful that you are writing daily and keeping your spirits up. I will say an extra prayer tonight that you have good results at your dr. appts. tomorrow. I know you are anxious to get back to your treatments and these will start again soon. We miss you in North Canton, so keep writing and pushing forward.

Love,

Barb, Mario and the Land of Dogs (Rocco, Guido, Duncan & Mason)

Anonymous said...

Hi Ellen,

I was just sitting on my back deck in Hilton Head thinking about you and sending a prayer your way. Then I checked your blog and see that people are thinking about you all over this great country of ours. That is a testament to how much you are loved. I will be thinking of you tomorrow and wishing you the best.
Love, Sharon (the crazy lawn mower's sister in law)

Anonymous said...

Ellen,
In reading all your messages from
friends, feel the comfort of their prayers, thoughts and a cheering
squad beyond words..........

Keep strong, rest well, you'll be
home soon.............

Love and prayers,

Patty

Anonymous said...

Ellen,

Good luck today with all of your tests. You will be in our thoughts and prayers.

Love, Krickett & Dave

Anonymous said...

Hang in there Ell! You are absolutely going to get out of that loft and will be back to your old, fitful self, I just know it! I know you're so upset to miss the MSF, but this time next year you'll be managing your An Artful Life booth and taking orders from throngs of customers (myself being one). ;-)

Good luck today with all the tests. I know you're getting cabin-fever, but try to enjoy the last week of being in the roomy loft before you go in for the second round of treatment. You are such a trooper and great patient - before you know it you'll be recouping at home!

I miss you and am thinking about you non-stop.

Much love,
Amina

Jen Sedlak said...

Hey Ell,
Wow! My spanish is awful- I cannot get much of that post other than I think "interesting blog found on google"?. I guess I should have paid more attention in Spanish class and not written all of those notes!

Thinking of you and hoping that good news is shared on the next entry in regards to the lab results and doctor's appointment. I am hoping that it is not as humid as it was when we were there, and that you can comfortably take that walker out. It has cooled off here-yesterday was actually nice. Tristan had a scrimmage against one of the Glenoak teams last night and Southwest seems to be coming out of their slump and dominated on the field! He got a tooth knocked out during a play, but it was a baby one. Then all your talk of frosties, made me crave some ice cream. So we had to stop at Ro's.

Hang in there girl! We are all thinking about you and sending positive thoughts your way! If you want something to do, you can always look up places for our 1st annual girls vacation!
Sending positive energy your way-Jen

Anonymous said...

Ellen,
I hope you had a good night's sleep and feel less anxious today. Surely there is someone at Duke whose skill is helping patients learn some new techniques for relaxing and coping with the tests and treatments. Perhaps you could ask Dr. G. for that resource? It might help you to talk with other patients or nurses who have special training in supporting patients in chemo. Just remember we are all with you today in spirit if not in person.

JanK.

Aunt Nancy said...

Hope all your test go well today. I know they will, God will be with you. Then you can get on with business, treatment two. My friend Becky, who lives in Canton, ask me if I was aware of your blogspot! She knows about it too. Alot of people you don't even know are praying for you. I am going to Canton to have lunch with her Friday, let me know if you guys or your mom would like me to do anything while I am over there. Keep resting ! Think of it as beauty sleep ! You'll be gorgeous when you get home! Love you ! Aunt Nancy

Anonymous said...

Hey Ellen & Ryan ~

I just got your bracelet in the mail and already have it on my wrist - what an amazing thing! I just know through Faith - Hope - and more Love than you can even imagine that miracles are going to happen. Keep sleeping and healing and know that we are all praying for you both every day! Love you and miss you!

love always, Ashley

Anonymous said...

Excellent idea from Jan about asking for these resources from the hospital staff-perhaps you have already done so, but an avenue to explore. Anxiety certainly goes along with your situation and calming exercises, thoughts, and activities might lighten your mind.
I hope have a better day today!!!!
Love you lots and sending you both a big ole bear hug,
Margie

Anonymous said...

Ellen and Ryan...
I'm sure today will be stressful and we are all hoping your tests will have good results. You have been very strong...keep it going! We are all working with you....if support and good thoughts can help, we've got you covered. Rest when you need to.....
Debbie and Paul

Anonymous said...

Hi Ellen> I'll bet you thought I fell off of the face of the earth. I have been catching up on your blogs. The festival has us a bit crazy here. My apologies for not writing to you the past few days. I got a card back that I had sent to the hospital. I will re-send it. That is the second one from me that didn't get to you. Bummer. We will be thinking of you this weekend and wish you could be here with us. I hope you are getting enough rest from all your company. I know how much it means to you to have your friends and family around. I pray that your tests go well today and that you get some relief from the drainage. I know it is tough for you to be at home thinking all the time. You will soon be back in the hospital killing those buggers off. We love you. I will be looking for the next blog to let us know how it went for you today.
Cathy D

Anonymous said...

ellen,
I am reading the blog from Denver and am sending you positives right now as I'm typing. The angels are watching over you...open your heart and receive all the energy and good thoughts and prayers that are being sent your way.
I pray that the news from your doctor will be good and more healing is on the way!!!
Love to you, little watermelon,
Marcia

Anonymous said...

Sending positivity, love and prayers your way for those results today!! I cannot wait to read the good news you and Ryan have to share!!! God is working with you. I love you and it is apparent that so many others do too and are rooting for you ALL the way, Ellen!
Find peace in that thought:)
Keep resting.
Hugs,
xoxoxoxoxox
Love K. Lanza

Unknown said...

Hi Ellen & Ryan;
We just wanted to say we have followed your blog and talked with Diane about you, all the time. Our prayers are with you and Ryan through these trying times. The hard times will make you grow together stronger and your love will bloom even further. You keep your spirits going and remember all those people whom you have touched are all out here rooting for your recovery. Take one step at a time and just keep going girl, we are all looking forward to seeing you home soon. You have your own fan club here.

Anonymous said...

Hi Ellen

I've just heard. I want you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Get as much rest a possible. I hope the tests go well.

Take care & God Bless
Georganne

Anonymous said...

We keep praying and are keeping you in our thoughts.
Love, Mark, Ami, Jacob and Lucas